Some common phrases and their possible meanings:

“I don’t have time to do this” = This is not a priority.

“I can’t do that” = I don’t believe I am able to do that.

“That is unfair” = My expectations did not line up with reality.

But also:

“I don’t have time to do this” = I very much want to do this but I have too many responsibilities that I am powerless to overcome.

“I can’t do that” = I am too physically, mentally or spiritually broken to do anything you ask of me.

“That is unfair” = What has happened here is a breach of any form of justice. I deserve more than this.

---

If we look hard enough, we can make any person look like pathetic. It’s easy to critique another’s actions as being hypocritical and then mock them from our morally superior pedestal.

But we often forget that we all live in our own narratives. One person’s “excuse” can be another’s “only answer”. To the person who sees “I don’t have time” as This is not a priority, anyone saying “I don’t have time” may just use it as an excuse for inaction. Yet, to the single mother in an abusive relationship with multiple children, the story isn’t so easy. Perhaps to her, “I don’t have time” isn’t a matter of choice, but of necessity. She may be powerless to escape her awful position. It is awfully arrogant to paint this mother as a hypocrite.

Perhaps people would be happier if we gave each other the benefit of the doubt more often.