Lies can generally be divided into two types: white and black. A black lie is a statement we make that we know is false. A white lie is a statement that isn’t entirely false, but leaves out a significant part of the truth.

Socially speaking, white lies are considered more acceptable because we want to avoid hurting people’s feelings.*

Parents may not tell their children that they’ve been doing drugs, that they’ve fought with each other, that their savings are running low, or that one is in bad health. Withholding this information usually stems from a desire to protect the child from unnecessary harm and stress.

Yet dig a little deeper, and one finds that these lies stem from a lack of courage. It takes courage to admit that Mommy and Daddy smoke weed, that they hit each other, that they may not be able to afford the house, or that one might die soon. It is far easier to omit this information under the disguise of protecting the child, when the true desire is to avoid vulnerability.

Does this mean to always tell the truth? Not necessarily. Some truths may be catastrophically unproductive, such as telling a child that Mommy and Daddy might divorce off of one fight.

But it does mean that in cases where the truth is withheld, a great moral decision is required. Is the truth being withheld because of one’s fear of confronting vulnerability, or to genuinely protect somebody else? Is the reason for selfish, or altruistic reasons? In most cases, it is likely a bit of both.

The words we speak have real power. Be careful.

*White lies also aren’t any better than outright lying to somebody. By omitting a crucial fact from the truth, you cease to tell the truth. A government that withholds essential information from its people by censorship is no more democratic than one which speaks falsely.