When someone asks us for advice or feedback, it’s easy to accept the implied limits. But often times, the most effective answer is one that extends beyond the given boundaries.

Are there any typos here? No – but maybe we should talk about the unnecessary chapters.

Should I order a salad or fries? Depends – maybe we should talk about what your goals are.

Should I quit my job and pursue my dream or stay financially secure? Are there no other options?

One exercise I’ve been trying recently is to answer any closed, non-factual question with a “none of the above”. I say non-factual because some questions, like what gene mutation commonly causes acute promyelocytic leukemia, have correct answers. But for the others, where more subjective opinions or feedback are required, then unorthodox answers are usually a more honest and useful answer to the listener.

But more importantly, answering this way forces us to constantly re-examine our values. Choosing from a set of multiple choice questions is easy. “Do you think A or B is right?” You could flip a coin. No effort required.

Having to create a new answer, one to a deeper question, takes an enormous amount of energy. It forces us to enter empathic listening – where you tap into the speaker’s perspective – and work from there. When when you reach that place of empathy, it’s easier to understand a person’s real wants or needs. And over time, as we step into many people’s shoes, our own beliefs begin to evolve as well.

The best answers I’ve ever heard have always been “none of the above answers”. Take, for instance, Derek Sivers on the question “When you think of the word “successful,” who’s the first person who comes to mind and why?”

“The first answer to any question isn’t much fun, because it’s just automatic. “What the first painting that comes to mind: Mona Lisa. Genius: Einstein. Composer: Mozart.”

This is the subject of the book “Thinking Fast and Slow” by Daniel Kahneman.

There’s the instant, unconscious, automatic thinking. Then there’s the slower, conscious, rational, deliberate thinking.

I’m really into the slower thinking. Breaking my automatic responses to the things in my life, and slowly thinking through a more deliberate response instead.

Then, for the things in life where an automatic response is useful, creating a new one consciously.

So what if you asked, “When you think of the word successful, who’s the third person who comes to mind, and why are they actually more successful than the first person that came to mind?”

In that case: first would be Richard Branson, because that’s like the stereotype – the Mona Lisa. And honestly, you might be my 2nd answer, but we can talk about that later.

My third and real answer is we can’t know, without knowing their aims.

What if Richard Branson set out to live a quiet life, but like a compulsive gambler, just can’t stop creating companies? Then that changes everything, and we can’t call him successful anymore.”

An unorthodox, but brilliant answer.

Do not mistake somebody’s ignorance for your limits. There are always more options than meets the eye.