Over the last few months, I’ve been training at a mixed martial arts gym. I’ve mostly been training brazillian jiu-jitsu, but have dabbled in some boxing, muay thai and strength classes. Initially, the classes were overwhelming and I felt way out of my league. But with time, I began to learn from my teachers and sparring partners until I could hold my own.

Training MMA has had an interesting influence on my psychology. I’ve begun to stroll more confidently down streets, thinking I’ll be able to protect myself if I get jumped. I used to walk around people smoking or drinking in groups, but now I walk through them because it’s easier. This wasn’t consciously, of course. It’s as if the bruises on my body signalled to my brain that I was untouchable. The irony!

Until one day I almost did get into a fight. I was walking through a nearby park one night when I accidentally bumped shoulders with a man walking his dog. We both turned around at the same time and stared at each other. I was 181cm with skinny arms; he was 185cm+ with some of the thickest biceps I’d ever seen. A part of me thought it was time to throw down. He looked tense, angry and I felt like he wanted to fight as well.

But then I heard myself speaking. “Sorry man.” I smiled at him. “Didn’t mean it.” He instantly relaxed and smiled back. “No worries, buddy.” We parted our ways quietly and I never saw him again.

That night, I realised that the best self-defence is not martial arts. The best way to stay safe is to be the person nobody wants to punch. The guy who’s too friendly, too funny or too smart to have a target on his back. Knowing how to not get punched in the first place is far more helpful than knowing how to dodge one.

Sure, knowing how to box or kick is helpful. But if you scowl at too many people, thinking you’re invincible, there’s no knowing when a bottle will unexpectantly land on your head.

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