If some film directors told you they wanted to turn your life into a movie, what would you want in it?

Would the actor behave differently to the person you are now? What events would you include? What hardships would you make your movie self take?

This is the premise of the book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life – my favourite book of 2021 so far. It is a hilarious and thoughtful book that calls all to a more meaningful life. The author, Don Miller, suggests that any good story requires this recipe:

A character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it.

Let’s break this down.

1. A character

Hey, that’s you! But who are you?

Maybe you’re Harry Potter – the nerdy kid under 4 Privet Drive. You have abusive guardians and live under a staircase. But one day, you find out you’re a wizard and you receive an invitation to go to a magical school. Nice!

But that’s not interesting enough for a story. There must be more.

2. …who wants something

What do you want? What will the world remember you for?

If you’re Harry Potter, perhaps you’d like to win a Quidditch game, learn more about your parents or take down an evil wizard. Cool!

But everybody has stuff they want. That’s not interesting enough for a good story. We must have more.

3. …and overcomes conflict

How far will you go to get what you want?

If you’re Harry Potter, you will need to overcome incredible adversity. You will need to grieve your mentor’s death. You will need to overcome three-headed giant dogs. You will need to battle against the strongest dark wizards in the world. All of this takes immense courage. Yet, it’s all important for the sake of a good story.

However though this is pretty great, we’re not quite at a good story yet. We need one more piece.

4. …to get it.

Do you succeed, or fail? How did you change from it?

If you’re Harry Potter, you succeeded! You defeated the strongest dark wizard in the world. You made some great friends. You matured in ways you could’ve never imagined. Congratulations!

But there was an immense cost. You faced challenges that nearly killed you. You lost friends and family in the process. You will probably never recover from your physical and mental scars.

But these experiences shaped you into a person worth writing about. And that is what made your story worth sharing.

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After reading this book, I thought back on my own life and wondered if it would make a good movie. And then I realised that my life wasn’t that interesting.

What part of the piece was missing? The answer came quickly. Step 3: overcoming conflict.

I’m fairly grounded in who I am (a character). I also have dreams and things I want to do in the world (who wants something). The problem is, I’m damn lazy sometimes and often back down in the face of conflict. And that means my life really isn’t all that worth writing about.

A good story requires one to overcome conflict. Harry Potter easily could’ve lived a peaceful life at Hogwarts, doing ordinary student stuff and learning some benign spells here and there. But that would’ve been boring. Nobody would read that.

If we want to leave this world with interesting stories, it’s not enough to reflect and have goals. We must show courage and embrace discomfort to get it. Often, it’s the easy stuff that prevents us from telling better stories.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: How I Learned to Live a Better Story can be found here. Credits to Lynn for the recommendation!