It’s 2am. My circadian rhythm is screaming at me to sleep, but here I am, staring at my blank screen, trying to figure out which idea to write about tonight.

Why not give up? The temptation is very real – I think over the last hour I’ve drifted off into sleep a few times already, only to wake up in a few seconds – and honestly, nobody would really notice if a post was missing. Heck, I don’t think many people even noticed when I didn’t post for two months straight.

But the reason I’m up is simple: I believe in the power of just showing up. I write posts on Sundays, and today is Sunday, so something must be written.

In my experience, 80% of any good habit formation comes from just doing something related to the desired outcome, no matter how small or terrible. Want to exercise more? Just start with a five minute walk. Want to learn a new language? Just revise one word. Want to be a better writer? Just write one short post.

I have a few hypotheses why showing up is so critical, but the one that matters the most is this. In our lives, there is always a gap between the person we say we are, and the things we actually do. And if this gap is too big, like saying you are smart or responsible, when you never actually study or take ownership over your duties, there are consequences. Every missed day is evidence that you aren’t the person you say you are, but instead a liar, quite delusional, and perhaps a bit of a loser. The more times you don’t show up, the more this accumulates. The gap between your image of yourself and reality breeds shame, untrustworthiness and disgust.

But when you show up, even for just a moment, it sends a vote in the other direction. Your body says, yes, I didn’t have to do this today, I sure damn didn’t feel like it, but here I am anyway. And if I can do this enough times, then maybe I do deserve this title I have given myself. You begin to trust yourself more, since you have built a reputation of being quite reliable with your promises, and this serves as confidence for future progress. Every act of showing up pushes you forward. Every act of giving up pushes you back.

There are many times when it is quite appropriate to give up, of course. Maybe you used to be a people-pleaser, or wanted to learn an esoteric hobby, but now find that these aren’t quite a priority anymore. It is fine to let them go, to gently kill off previous and aspirations.

But when you come to the many crossroads in life, where you must decide to either march towards an ideal, knowing that it will be difficult and painful, or fall back in response to this challenge, I pray you remember that giving up will be also painful, in more crushing and gnawing ways, and that one step forward, just one millimetre of progress toward a better future, is infinitely better than nothing at all. We are, after all, not what we think, or what we say, or how we feel. We are what we do.

Time for bed.