When I was younger, I hated making silly mistakes. Of course, everyone does to an extent, but it terrified me an unusual amount. In light of blunders, I would often think thoughts like:

How stupid am I? I thought I was better than this? How many other things do others know, but I don’t?!

Discussing exams with peers was one of my worst fears because if I found out I had erred, I would feel terrible. The post-exam was more stressful than the exam itself.

I much preferred to stay ignorant in my knowledge. It was safer that way.

But recently, I’ve come to appreciate mistakes a little more. This enormous transformation came, of all things, from Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

BJJ is an interesting sport. It looks very physical, because all the pictures show one big dude on top of another equally big dude, but it is heavily technical. If you don’t understand fundamental concepts such as centre of weight, the kinetic chain and leverages, you will never progress past the first belt. Being a martial art, where live rounds are encouraged, you also get very quick feedback.

If your technique is wrong, you find out immediately because you get smashed. This sucks and hurts a lot. But this quick feedback is the signal you need to adjust your game, and improve next time. At first, I hated rolling with other athletes, because I would get my ass kicked every time. It is impossible to be ignorant: your skills – or lack thereof – are shown in full display.

But over time, the mistakes improve you. The errors that were revealed to me became clear targets for learning and by focusing on those, my skills increased. And slowly, I began to enjoy live rolling more, because I could find areas that needed to be polished further. This attitude has also carried over to my life in general.

Answering questions in classes aren’t a big deal anymore. I don’t care if my answer is wrong: I will learn. Testing a new conversation topic isn’t scary anymore. I don’t care if it didn’t work: I will learn. Trying out new techniques in BJJ aren’t intimidating anymore. I don’t care if I get smashed: I will learn. The pain hurts for a moment, but the lesson stays with you for life.

There are many ways one can respond to mistakes. Ignorance is one; exploration is another. But at the end of the day, only one actually deals with it.

Choose carefully.