The last two months were a painful experiment.

I stepped away from regular blogging for a while – for reasons I’ll share another time – and not writing made me realise how much I need to write. To compensate, I’ve begun journalling more obsessively, taking more online notes, and writing compulsive short stories, some of which I’ll share in the future. But it just hasn’t been the same.

In particular, there are three main reasons why I’ve come back to blogging.

1. The thrill of clarity

The more I write, the more I realise I have no idea what’s actually in my head. It takes a lot of painful exploration to even begin to understand your thoughts. But when a breakthrough occurs, the feeling of clarity is completely worth it. It’s like finding a little crystal in a room full of dust.

During the blogging break I’ve begun noticing my ideas aren’t as sharp anymore. It takes more time for me to explain my thoughts now and it’s often in incoherent ways. That’s when I realised writing online was crucial in examining my ideas. Without this practice, the quality of my conversations and reflections rapidly deteriorated.

2. Sharing is fun

I find something beautiful in throwing your voice into the void and leaving it for the world to discover. Most of the time, the call goes unanswered. But the thought of a stranger reading a post and having their life improved, even for just a moment, brings me enormous joy.

I have had the trajectory of my life drastically altered from other people’s blog posts. Despite the increasing abundance of social media, I still firmly believe in the power of this medium.

3. I like the pain

Finding ideas worth sharing is difficult. But it’s kind of satisfying in a weird way, similar to how bodybuilders enjoy muscle soreness. The exhaustion that comes from finding and consolidating an idea is one unlike that from studying or exercise or in other domains. It is unique, more addictive, more intoxicating. One I will keep running back to.

More thoughts to come.