In any endeavour that is important yet challenging, there is usually a moment of despair you encounter after some time, one that nudges you towards the easy route, that reminds you of all your insecurities and weaknesses, and gently suggests that you should take the day off, and perhaps never do this again. Whether it’s heading to the gym, sitting down to study, or learning a new skill, a time eventually arises where at your lowest, most fatigued, you ask yourself, “why the hell am I here?”

The sad thing is, this never really goes away. Your first run will have hard moments in there, and so will your hundredth. The playing field might shift a bit, where you can work harder and longer before you hit this stage, but it still exists.

But while the despair never goes away, what builds up over time is confidence. With your first bit of success, you now know that the feeling of despair is conquerable. It is still very real, but instead of reeling from it, it begins to look a little smaller, something you’ve proved you can handle.

I’ve written 400 posts to date – this is the 400th – and in every post, there is a moment where I feel tired, where I seriously can’t be bothered opening a new page, writing something down, editing, and clicking publish. But the difference from the first post to this one is a feeling of competence. In my first post, it took me two weeks to write a short piece then one hour meditating over whether I should publish. The feeling of despair was ever-present, scary and unfamiliar. Now, after knowing that I’ve faced and overcome this 399 times in the past, I know I should be able to do it again tonight. When you build up small, repeated wins over time, you begin to build a strong track record, and each win is an affirmation of competence.

As Charles Bukowski wrote, “Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”