Three weeks have officially passed for my first year in the Doctor of Medicine (MD) at Melbourne University. According to older and more experienced students, MD1 is a precious time in the context of a medical career: you have the most time you’ll ever have, there are zero expectations of you and you’re only there to learn. Over the next few years, I’ll be documenting this journey ahead – everything from the bright and beautiful to the dark and demoralising, with this post marking the start. I don’t really have a plan of what I’ll be writing about, so here goes nothing.

INTRODUCTIONS

“Hey there, I’m Eric – what’s your name?”

Of the 359 students in MD1, most of the faces are new but there are some familiar ones. Through ice-breakers, orientation activities and lunch breaks, I’ve slowly begun to meet some of the new faces who I’ll be calling colleagues over the next few years, and catch up with old friends.

The act of mingling was draining in the first few weeks, but things are slowly settling down. Groups are beginning to form, with clusters in lectures and circles in lunch breaks taking shape. Without a doubt, getting to know new faces throughout the next few years is something I’m looking forward to.

Most people seem friendly and relaxed, making it easy to forget that many of these individuals are likely straight A students, accustomed to topping their classes and acing every exam. I wonder what will happen now that these students are now all together – how and if their expectations will shift throughout the years given the competitive nature of this course. On the other hand, not seeing faces who I’ve become accustomed to seeing during undergrad is a little strange; friends who have moved to different states, who have gone down different paths. But things like this happen, and I have faith they’ll do great things no matter where they’re placed.

RESILIENCE

Some of the themes of the first week of MD1 included resilience and developing a ‘growth mindset’ – stuff like if you ever fall, fall forward. Within these talks, the idea of imposter syndrome came up frequently as a reminder that yes, imposter syndrome happens to everyone and no, don’t listen to those thoughts – you absolutely deserve to be in this course.

There are many arguments that could be made against doing medicine. You are studying for a long time (essentially your whole life), you will probably experience some form of burnout in navigating patients and hospital systems, leading you to almost certainly work long hours whilst trying to maintain a healthy personal life. On top of that, you are in an inherently competitive field with a vast number of brilliant minds vying for a limited number of specialist positions, of which many exams stand along the way. It is no wonder imposter syndrome and burnout are such big problems in this field.

But of course, these are also reasons why one would decide to go into medicine. The thrill of lifelong learning, the opportunity to meet patients’ health needs as another human and the opportunity to work in a team of like-minded, capable individuals must surely be worth the inevitable struggle to receive these gifts or going to medical school would be nonsensical.

Things may change and I may drop out of med school in the future, but for now, I’m content on this path that God has placed me on.