I was eating pho the other day when two men sat in a table near me. They were, I guess, in their mid-twenties, and it became apparent that they had met on an app and this was their first time meeting in person. I did not mean to eavesdrop, but it was very warm outside and I was feeling sleepy, so I caught bits of their conversation while lazing around.

There was something about their conversation that seemed off to me, and I could not figure out why at first. Then I realised that they were not having a conversation at all. What would happen is one person would talk about himself for a few minutes, and then the other would suddenly interject and talk about himself for another few minutes. They alternated in this tug-and-war for over half an hour, in which neither of them asked a single question.

At one point, one man explained that he had come back early from his year-long vacation as his father had just passed away. The other person did not offer a single condolence, but instead resumed telling stories of his sister who worked odd jobs.

The thing was, both men’s lives were fascinating. One had travelled to four different continents in their gap year from dental school, and the other had recently launched their own business. I wanted to ask some questions, but both seemed only interested in themselves. It was like watching two people read their own Facebook updates to each other.

Sometime during this, an elderly couple arrived and sat a few tables away. The man had a walking stick and was helped to the chair by his wife. The waitress came and took their order with a smile: they seemed to be regulars. After this, the couple held each other’s hands in silence. The lady was peering around at the restaurant and the man was simply staring at his wife. When their food arrived, he offered her his portion of bean sprouts and she shook her head. Only when they picked up their chopsticks did they finally let go of each other.

No words were exchanged, but their connection seemed far deeper than the endless chatter across from me.