Eric Tian

“Pho combination please.” I said.

“Ahhhh… of course,” she replied with a thick Vietnamese accent. “You happy?”

Bit of a strange question, I thought. “Yeah I’m happy.” I replied. “Are you?”

“I work here.” She said with a smile.

“Oh. I guess you’re happy then.” I smiled back.

She gave me an odd look. “No I work here. You happy?”

Now I was really confused. What did happiness have anything to do with this meal? Was this a cosmic sign reminding me to meditate? Some divine mental health intervention in the form of this Vietnamese aunt?

“She means to ask you having here?” another voice interjected. I looked up to see a younger caucasian waiter. “Or do you want takeaway?”

“Oh right. Yes, have here please.” I replied, face flushed.

I guess she didn’t care if I was happy after all.

It’s amazing how much your world shrinks when you are sick.

It effectively becomes your bedroom: keeping it as dim as possible, the right temperature, having water nearby. Any other considerations get thrown out.

Yes, it sucks. Yes, it is logistically inconvenient. But having it any other way is impossible.

Just as the valleys make the heights more stunning, so does sickness reveal the beauty in health. And better yet, when we recover our immune system will be stronger than ever.

Amor fati – a love of fate. Through the highs and lows.

If you think about it, we should have more time than ever.

Life expectancy has more than doubled in the last century. Healthcare interventions and new drugs are curing diseases that would have killed us not too long ago.

Emails are faster than letters. Washing machines are faster than hand washing. Car and trains are faster than travelling by horseback. Internet speeds get faster every year. We have unprecedented levels of time- and effort-saving devices at our disposal.

And yet, for a lot of our lives we feel rushed. We say things like, “I would love to read more/go to the gym/learn a language/cook my own meals/catch up with old friends… if I only had the time.”

The problem clearly is not that we have a shortage of time. Perhaps we have an overload of everything else.

It is a tale of two realities.

The developed world has brought with it many benefits. Rising life expectancy, more available food and shelter, instant communication across the world, decreasing poverty. Things our ancestors would see as miracles.

Yet along with its benefits are new problems we now face. Rising rates of addiction, mental health issues, obesity, climate change, economic inequality. It feels as though we replaced the problem of scarcity with the problem of excess.

It is possible to be grateful for the present yet ceaselessly yearn for more.

Personal highlights from Morgan Housel’s Some Things I Think:

• Many beliefs are held because there is a social and tribal benefit to holding them, not necessarily because they’re true.
• The best measure of wealth is what you have minus what you want. (By this measure, some billionaires are broke.)
• The most valuable personal finance asset is not needing to impress anyone.
• You can only ignore the critics if you also discount the praise.
• Past performance increases confidence more than ability.
• Schools are good at measuring intelligence but not great at measuring passion, endurance, and character, which tend to be more important than intelligence in the long run.
• A good bet in economics: the past wasn’t as good as you remember, the present isn’t as bad as you think, and the future will be better than you anticipate.

From James Baldwin, American writer and civil rights activist:

“I have always felt that a human being could only be saved by another human being. I am aware that we do not save each other very often. But I am also aware that we save each other some of the time.”

In the anime Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End, there is a scene where a young elf meets the strongest mage in the kingdom, who offers her any spell in existence. Behind the great mage are stacks of books that reach to the ceiling, filled with every known enchantment in history.

The young elf considers this offer for a moment and responds, “I don’t want one.”

“The greatest joy of magic lies in searching for it.”

A new Chinese restaurant opened downstairs last week. Whenever I walked past, it looked clean, well furnished and filled with customers. Tonight, I decided to try it.

I grabbed a menu from the counter and waited in line. Glancing through it, everything seemed to be in order. The usual dishes: fried rice, egg and tomato, soy sauce braised pork, stir-fried vegetables, were all available at a reasonable price. But the more I looked, the more an uneasy feeling grew inside me.

There were no typos.

Every word on the menu was spelt correctly. The address, the dishes, even the allergy warning. And to my mild horror, the menu looked neat: a clear font on a dirtless sheet of white, laminated A4. No crinkles or faded letters. It was a concerningly good looking menu.

There’s a rule for authentic Chinese restaurants: their menus are riddled with mistakes. I would even go so far to hypothesise that the worse grammar a restaurant has, the better chance you have of getting the real deal.

But it was too late to back out. I had made it to the front of the line and the cashier was looking at me expectantly. I reluctantly ordered one of their sets: sweet and sour tofu soup with braised pork on rice. Safe, classic dishes. Can’t go wrong.

Except it did go wrong. Here’s a list of some of the red flags:

• The dishes had were cooked in far too little oil. The fried egg that came with the rice tasted bland and soft – I suspect it had been partially boiled. True Chinese fried eggs taste like they’ve been deep fried.
• The food came in cardboard boxes instead of bowls. This gave it the appearance of a frozen meal from a high school cafeteria. All Chinese restaurants serve their food in metal bowls or plates.
• Western pop music was blazing on the stereo. I have nothing against Katy Perry, but California Gurls is not a song that belongs in a Chinese restaurant.
• The restaurant did not provide chopsticks. This was by far the greatest sin and requires no further explanation.

To give some credit, it was a fine meal. The lack of oil definitely made it healthier than most restaurants, the waiters were friendly and prompt, and the interior was clean and well spaced.

But it was not a Chinese meal – not by a long shot. And the thing that gave it away? The menu with perfect spelling.

It’s taken two and a half years, but I am now officially on nodding terms with all the bouncers at the strip club downstairs.

The last guy was a real challenge. He was a short but stocky Italian man, always well dressed. He would not make eye contact for the longest time. But as I walked past tonight, I slowed my gait and our eyes finally met. I bowed my head and he gave me a nod. The adrenaline rush was amazing.

I have never spoken to any and don’t know any of their names. There are seven in total. I think I prefer it that way.