Eric Tian

Some paradoxes I’ve come to love and accept:

1. The more you know, the more you realize how little you know.

Every time I feel myself taking one step forward in mastering a new domain, I suddenly see ten more steps revealed to me. The dumbest years of my life are when I’ve felt the smartest.

Related: the Dunning-Kruger effect

2. The more choices you have, the less satisfied you are with each one.

From psychologist Barry Schwartz:

“Autonomy and freedom of choice are critical to our well being, and choice is critical to freedom and autonomy. Nonetheless, though modern Americans have more choice than any group of people ever has before, and thus, presumably, more freedom and autonomy, we don’t seem to be benefiting from it psychologically.”

Related: The Paradox of Choice

3. Every good creates a potential evil.

Providing clean water is good but it also creates inequality for people with dirty water.

When you raise the standard, you also invent opportunities to hit below the standard.

4. The more you fail, the more likely you’ll succeed.

It is ironic that one of the key ingredients to success is its exact opposite, failure. Yet, in defence of failure, J.K. Rowling writes:

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”

Related: The Parable of the Pottery Class

5. The highest highs have the lowest lows.

The relationship that you treasure the most can also destroy you the most.

The more you gain, the more you have to lose.

If you asked me what my best purchase of 2019 was, I would unequivocally say my bike(s). Here are five reasons why:

1. Reminder on valuing your life

If you know how to cycle, riding a bike is generally safe. However, if you ever need the occasional reminder that your life is fragile, cycling can be great for that too.

Whether it’s a precarious car just brushing past you, an anxious pedestrian running across the road, or unaware drivers opening their door right when you’re passing them, your next momento mori encounter is just around the corner (literally).

2. The importance of insurance

Getting a bike is great because it also teaches you the importance of insurance. If you have a fancy bike, the first thing you should do is to get an even better lock. If you tie up your bike with a cheap lock, you’re practically screaming for it to get stolen.

If you were ever angry at school for not teaching you about insurance, fear not – allow your (stolen) bikes to educate thee.

3. Low-impact exercise

Exercise beats a sedentary lifestyle in almost every possible measure.

Cycling is great because it’s both fun as you can go out and explore new sights; and it’s low-impact for your lower body. Unless you’re unable bend your hips (in which you should really get that checked out), practically anyone with basic coordination is fit to cycle.

4. Making commuting interesting

If you have the luxury of being within cycling distance of your work, riding your bike as commuting can be great fun. Here are some things you can do:

• Chase down a tram/bus/car;
• Enjoy the breeze as you whiz past people, buildings and traffic lights;
• Race some fellow cyclists;
• See how many tight spots you can navigate through without stepping off the pedal;
• Chat to other cyclists before you race them again.

The possibilities are endless.

5. Freedom

Freedom is high on my list of values and cycling is the epitome of freedom. To explain, let us consider the limitations of alternative forms of transport – walking and driving – and see why cycling has the best of both worlds.

Driving is great because you can go fast, and fast is fun. However, driving sucks because you consistently have to stop at traffic lights, you can’t pass other cars in the same lane as you and the cost of insurance, fuel and general maintenance can really add up.

On the other hand, walking is great because it’s liberating – you can generally walk wherever you like, whenever you like. If you want to overtake a slow walker, walk on the grass instead of the footpath or jaywalk (safely), go ahead! Yet, walking sucks because it’s slow. Walking over 10km for one trip is generally out of the question, because it would be both too slow and tiring.

Now, back to cycling. Cycling essentially has the best of both worlds, because:

• It’s fast like a car, easily averaging 20km/h, meaning you can travel practically everywhere (unless you’re going for a long roadtrip, in which case you’d need a car for luggage anyway); and
• It’s just as free as walking, because you can walk your bike! I know, crazy right?

Bikes are great.

If you say, “I’m never eating chocolate ever again”, that’s a rule. It’s also not a very good one. You could last a few hours, perhaps even days or weeks, but if you see your favourite chocolate on sale after a long day of work, you might give in.

Rules can be very powerful. Rules govern how society runs, how people treat one another, and even how we behave ourselves. Unnegotiable rules like drinking water every day, or to never smoke can alleviate mental space for harder problems. But the problem is, like the chocolate rule, people change. So, how can a rule be followed when the person the rule is for continuously changes?

The explanation for this shifting and paradoxical behaviour is called the empathy gap: a cognitive bias where people underestimate the influences of visceral drives on their attitudes, preferences and behaviours. This explains why one day, you detest chocolate, whereas another day you want nothing more than chocolate. Our hormones can quite literally dictate our mood.

So, how does one make lasting, effective with such shifting personalities? Professor Sendhil Mullainathan, in an interview with The Knowledge Project, suggests we treat ourselves like a democracy:

A lot of people I’ve seen pick rules willy-nilly. That’s just handing over power to the person in that moment who thought that was a good idea…you really want to protract the process of picking a rule.

Suppose you want to implement a rule, like “no dessert after meals”. That’s not a rule that’s been decided; that’s a rule that’s been proposed. Over the next week, ask every self that emerges how they feel about this rule. If by the end, every self agrees with this rule.. our confederacy of selves are all in agreement.

Well thought-out rules have the property that they are ones many parts of our selves subscribe to.

It’s not inaccurate to see ourselves as mini-democracies. How we behave when we’re rested and full is completely different to when we’re tired and hungry. This means that for the sustainability of a rule, get permission from all selves. Because all it takes to destroy a rule is one rebellious person emerging.

To set effective rules, make sure all your parts agree first.