Eric Tian

I’ve recently felt like I’ve been losing myself a little. The last few weeks have been quite hectic with MSTs, work and other commitments and when April rolled around, I couldn’t believe it. It seemed like Week 1 of semester just a few days ago. It’s Good Friday today and I’m currently in Sydney visiting my amazing sister Lana and so I figured this would be a good time to reset and reflect on the semester so far – what’s been good, not so good, and what my goals are for the year ahead.

The good

1. Faith

I’ve been challenged to take my faith in Christianity more seriously this year – something I don’t know why I didn’t do earlier. C.S. Lewis put it quite bluntly when he said:

“Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.”

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

As a natural sceptic and follower of the world, it’s been difficult letting my ego go and exploring what it means to be a follower of Christ. But as I’ve confronted some of my biggest struggles against Christianity – things like the resurrection, predestination and free will – I’ve found the answers to be more satisfactory than I could’ve ever imagined. It’s difficult to describe, but as I’ve begun to ‘open the door’, I’ve felt convicted by God’s word and a very real presence. Huge thanks to my brothers and sisters at Christian Union and my church for facing my scepticism and doubts with love and patience. I’m looking forward to seeing where my faith takes me.

2. Uni

This semester is proving to be the toughest I’ve ever had in terms of course load, with an average of 13 lectures a week (“tutorials” are really just another lecture slot – thanks M2M and cell bio) on top of 12 hours of work, 6-8 hours of training and other commitments in a start-up, ministry and reading a book per week. Yet, I’m really enjoying myself – I love all my subjects and am learning a lot. Thankfully, I’ve managed to take my own advice from the start of March by working consistently and it’s paying off. Despite having more to study, I’ve found I’m working a lot less than I was in first and second year and being more relaxed overall. I hope I can keep this up as finals begin to roll around.

3. Running

Running wise, it’s been a fantastic year so far. Summer training with the Melbourne Uni Athletics Club has paid off and I’m beginning to peak in my fitness, leading to PBs in the 5k (19:21), 10k (42:18) and Half Marathon (1:29:40) just in the last two months. The club members are also very quick and also great people in general. The people I’ve met through running are honestly like a second family to me. There’s something magical about going for a run with other people and listening to their footsteps, their breathing and sharing in their experience. I can’t wait to meet some more runners this year and break more PBs.

The not-so-good

1. Relationships

I’ve realised when I focus on myself too much, I can lose focus on the people around me. Sometimes, it leads to not calling my family or talking to some of my closest friends for weeks. This one really frustrates me because I truly believe genuine relationships are more important than good grades or personal development and I don’t want the people I cherish to think I don’t care about them. I’ll make a more conscious effort to reach out and catch up with people rather than focusing on myself so much for the rest of the year.

2. YouTube

When I think of the amount of time I’ve wasted on YouTube in the past few weeks I literally cringe. I’ve probably been spending 1-2 hours a day on YouTube and I can’t imagine the things I could’ve achieved if I’d spent that time more productively. To be fair, some of the videos are more ‘productive’ than others (TED Talks vs Gordon Ramsay’s Hell’s Kitchen) but I would almost certainly feel better by reading more books, going for a walk or hanging out with a friend rather than on YouTube. The biggest danger-times I’ve identified are when I wake up, when I’m eating meals alone at home, or when I’ve just gotten home from a busy day at Uni or work. I have an AdBlocker on my desktop but my phone is the biggest problem – it is just too easy to access YouTube and I haven’t found an AdBlocker that isn’t stupidly easy to disable when I’m feeling very lazy. However, I’m hopeful now that I’ve written this down that I’ll find a way to get over this problem.

Goals

1. Love God and love others more.
2. <1 hour each day on YouTube.
3. Running: Sub-19 5k and Sub-40 10k by July!